Well, first you must be HYDRATED, so DRINK...,pronouncing "HE - HE - HE." You will either get hydrated or SWALLOW YOUR TONGUE, depending on the degree of BLASPHEMY you were charged with on Judgement Day [passed tense].
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Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?While America was KETCH(ing)UP, God and Pate(main - Paet[i]) went to work on correcting the Hox error.
FORMULA: [1st, suck tongue then open mouth] HE + H + O(x) = BREATHE - EXHALE - AU(x) + (w)HO(m) - repeat INHALE - AU(x) + (w)H(Oz) = E (MC squared) [JAW] -> Nose [Know] So Mrs. Sparklie couldn't look at her husband, but He comfortingly said, "Remember Time, Remember HOXYGEN...a little mistake a long time ago. You were my little SENTINEL, remember? No MATTER what, absolute trust and LOVE."
"I get it, God, Sir, THE EVIL had to be captured. MY GOD, they're CRIMINALS and TRAITORS and committed EVERY CRIME IN THE BOOK! Yes, SIR, God, Sir," she said, saluting the American Flag. "But God, Sir, what do I do about a husband? You're REALLY in a different DIMENSION! Don't I get 3-D, too?" And God said, 'ANYTHING YOU WANT, DREAM, MANEUVEUR, RELATIVATE, CONCOCT...ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST SAY TO THEM 'FUCK YOU,' SOME MAN WILL GET THE MESSAGE. JUST BE A NICE GIRL." Then God said, "He has a surprise in store, don't worry about it," and sat on her couch, working on Blueprints for what He wants for the Future. "Besides, I dig porn." "But God, Sir, What about my Project Time Travel?" "Don't worry about it," God said, "But from now on use the ceiling fans, not your personal propeller. No more MASTERbating....Masters like fish."
Baby was crying, and sat in retrospective wonderment:
And God sent an angel and said, "There's Always a New Year...remember TIME. There will always be time..."
Baby wasn't the Whore of Babylon...She was the Ave Maria...and God said, "FUCK YOU to all the PeepHoles...and Married HER."
But Baby still could not breathe. God said, "Sing, baby, just sing!"
Baby said, "But God, I CAN'T" Baby used to love to sing to God. "But God, they say OXyJEN...I'm suffocating!" God said, "SING, baby...CANT!" So Baby sang:
God smiled, while Baby looked at God, cradling her KJV American Holy Bible. "Sing to me," God said, and Baby sang the most beautiful song she ever heard, to God:
"Baby, remember to BREATHE..."And Duh-code found an error...back to grammar school: "...lah...lah...lah...HOXYGEN, HOXYGEN, NO MATTER WHAT THE FORCE, IT HOLDS THINGS ON ITS COURSE! HOXYGEN, HOXYGEN IS WHAT THEY CALL THAT FORCE." And the GENTLEMEN STREET POLICE took over..."He, He, He," Baby said, "Meet the MOB...studying your BEATLETUDES? BASTARDS AND BITCHES? Well, HE, HE, HE, Guess WHO!" Love, ox ox ox, GOD!Suddenly, the GENTLEMEN REALeyezed there were TRULY, REALLY, MANY, MANY "NICE" Girls and "GOOD" Women. Well, the Good Women took to their kitchens and tried to HABITdash PIEROGIES. The NICE girls took to the STREETS!But there were "FRRRENDZZZ" of EVE who spread all kinds of RUMORS...Well, the LEADER OF THE PACK just sang:The Pierroggie Affair...Your Choice of PIGS, HOGS, DOGGIES, or any combination thereof.Some with CHEESE! (Smile!)
"When it comes to being a Man, a Man is capable of split second, critical decisions. A woman is capable of THINKING, but with THOUGHTFUL discernation, as so is a Man. But HIS time is better SPENT in situations critical and is typically BORED at the "paperwork" necessary to substantiate HIS, or HER THOUGHTFUL, thought. Although HE WOULD DO the "paperwork" himself if absolutely necessary - or WHEN SOME situations are critical and secure. SHE is capable of UNEMOTIONAL CONTEMPLATIONS, but HE is capable of playing the MASTER games. There is typically NO TIME for "emotion" and discernment is PIN POINT. If a WOMAN KNEW what things COULD BE CRITICAL, she would OFTEN become PETRIFIED, and unable to MOVE at all.
"Words of Wisdom to Women, especially BUSINESS women: "'Think as they think, but do not even try to BE as they ARE.'" - PAETI GUSTAV XAVIERS |
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