First, LIGHT the cigarette.
Hold the lighter in whatever hand you intend to smoke with;
then, holding the unlit cigarette in the opposite hand,
KISS the butt and suck in, holding your head back as far as possible,
pronouncing: HAH - HOX.
Pass the cigarette to the hand you were going to smoke with,
putting the lighter down.
[HOW TO CHOKE]
Inhale: MUH - Exhale: WHO; [2 times for sympathy]
Inhale: PUH - Exhale: WHO [2 times for sympathy]
Inhale: DUH - Exhale: WHO [2 times for sympathy]
Inhale: GOD(uh) - Exhale: WHOM [only once required.]
See if you die. If you still see, you have resurrected.
If you don't see (or understand), you're just dead.